08/13/2026
Today is hard. Saying this is hard. But it needs done. The signs for Soggy Bottom Farm & Market were taken down today.
Three years ago, when I bought this farm, I had a dream of a place where people could come eat bbq in the country. Sit amongst the pretty flowers, and have an experience that they couldn’t get anywhere else. I cooked bbq in a gravel parking lot that was not conducive to grow. I felt like this was the perfect place.
My wife supported me, but had her doubts. She told me this place would ruin us, but I ensured her that this was going to be great. I should have listened to her. We would have a place where we could be together, grow together, the kids could be here. We could raise Cora here. We could grow the BBQ business here, and everything would be just grand.
She liked the idea of being able to grow some flowers in the field and get her craft on as she was artsy, and thought it would be a great outlet for that. However, I let the thought of more money and greed get in the way.
After we bought this place, I told her I wanted her to start her own business and sell annual flowers. As well as grow the flowers in the field like we had talked about and agreed upon. Reluctantly, she did. I thought it would be great for her to have something of her own here, and had I allowed her to just have something of her own and enjoy it, it probably would have been great. But I did not.
I pushed and pushed for more and more. I took more and more time away from her and Cora who was just a little baby. Instead of supporting her when things failed or didn’t go right, I shamed her. When I felt like I was putting in more effort than her, I let her know. I did not consider the fact that she was still the primary care taker of our home. Cora was just 6 months old, and she was probably dealing with some post partem depression. As well as, I was asking her to do something she had never done or really knew much about. When the money put in did not come back, I blamed her. When she would leave early to make it to a ball game I would remind her of how many ball games I never made it to. I put this farm and money above that, and she wasn’t willing to do so. Instead of understanding, and allowing her to prioritize those things, I shamed her for leaving early and told her that’s not how you run a good business. When she didn’t know how to do things, I laughed at her….instead of taking her hand and helping her learn. I made her feel less than. Made her feel small. That is not what a good husband does. That is not how two people grow together.
I stole her day from her! Telling her it was mandatory that we work on Mothers Day. As it was the biggest day of the year for flowers. Referenced it to Santa having to work on Christmas. She was not Santa.
She ultimately decided last October that she had had enough. I had yelled at her for the last time. I had made her feel dumb for the last time. I had made her feel like her sacrifice from Cora and the rest of the kids didn’t mean anything for the last time.
I told her that was fine if she chose to quit, but I was going to continue to run the farm anyway. So, this spring, I rebranded and took on another full time job on top of the BBQ business. What seems really cool, and really successful from the road has actually been the absolute downfall of my marriage and home. I should have put it up when she walked away. Accepted that it failed, that her and I were not that couple that could work together, thrown some sunflowers out in the field this spring and focused on BBQ. Instead…I took myself away from the family even more. Started putting in 13 hour days clear back in February. Grew some really awesome flowers, and left her high and dry at home.
April and May were the hardest two months of my life. I was exhausted! But hell bent on proving to her that this could work and turn a profit. It did make a little money, but it wasn’t worth my marriage. Which has slowly become worse and worse until it is finally no more.
What was once something I was most proud of has become something I am most ashamed of. It’s not easy admitting these things, but it’s the truth. And the truth hurts sometimes.
I want to be a man of integrity. I want my sons to be men of integrity. So this is the right thing to do. I cannot pull into this place anymore. See those signs on the billboard, and really be proud of what has come of it.
Maybe at another day, and another time, I can try again. But for now, I have to put it away and focus on myself and my kids.
Thank you all for your support! It has not gone unnoticed, but truth is….it may not have been warranted.
