Pataskala Kroger Speed Bump

04/02/2026

A favorite

S*x Packets, Digital Underground’s groundbreaking debut album, was released on March 20, 1990. Seamlessly blending funk-infused rhythms with jazz piano and s...

02/03/2026

Throwback to the time before the snow. Those were the days.

‘Tis but a scratch…a flesh wound…

01/28/2026

Pardon my French (fries), but SON-OF-A-BACONATOR, it’s cold!

I hope you are safe and warm, friends. It’s been a cold and cloudy week.

All my love,
PKSB

12/02/2025

Hello friends,

Has anyone been across the road to the Catalina Club? How is their Wine Mixer?

All my live,
PKSB

11/24/2025

Friends!

The many holidays are upon us! As a Speed Bump, I share in as many celebrations as I can (vicariously, of course), but also try to not feel too stressed.

I am curious: where are places nearby that you might like to share a meal with friends or family as a way to connect and relax during this season?

All my love,
PKSB

11/24/2025

Dear Diary,

I wanted to let you know that I shall not be writing to you as much, as I have made new friends in Pataskala and from afar, and I would like to take some time to get to know them better and hear of their travels.

Thank you, dear friend, for your constant companionship. I know that you will not be far, if needed.

All my love,
PKSB

11/15/2025

Dear Diary,

My apologies for such a delayed entry. I have been busy watching people and making new friends. The leaves have changed and mostly gone, and it is now pie season (mmmmm…).

I’ve heard stories of merry bell ringers at stores; I wonder if I’ll get to meet one. I just want to experience all that the world has to offer (including coffee from our new neighbor).

Looking forward to what may be a busy day (until 7:30, at least).

All my love,
PKSB

10/14/2025

Dear Diary,

I’m getting a new neighbor! I’ve been watching fron afar since I arrived here, but it’s a little harder to see, since my (absolutely necessary) trim (“Just a little off the top, please” haha).

I heard they may have coffee, but I’m not sure. How does one welcome a new resident into the neighborhood? Maybe some flowers or baked goods? Hmm.

I hope you are enjoying the lively fall weather (finally!).

All my live,
PKSB

10/08/2025

Dear Diary,

I have jokes for you!

Why was the speed bump across the parking lot? To keep the pedestrians safe.

Why did the speed bump get a trim?
To keep the cars safe!

Ohhhh, Diary - it’s been quite a couple of weeks. The weather is finally cooling off, it rained here today (boy, did we need it), and I got a new paint job since I last wrote. It sure is pretty here in the fall, and the Kroger has been busy keeping the football parties stocked.

I don’t know if you know this, but the roads are NOT SAFE around here when it rains! Well, the roads are fine, but it’s almost as though the drivers forget how to use their brakes 😳 I’ll still do my job to keep people safe, but sometimes it just doesn’t feel like one little ol’ speed bump can do enough.

Off to bed. Gotta rest up for another day of serving the people.

Love,
PKSB

09/29/2025

***MISSED CONNECTION***

Traffic cone in the Pataskala Kroger parking lot: For days, I laid next to you, trying to muster the courage to say something. For days, I was just too nervous. And now, the opportunity to even introduce myself has slipped through my fingers, like sand through a sieve on an overcast and windy day in the magical land of Buckeye Lake (in the Buckeye Lake side - not Fairfield Beach…too many geese).

Alas, I find myself melancholy, forlorn, and - once again - alone.

If you happen upon this message, dear Pataskala Kroger Traffic Cone who guarded both myself and numerous vehicles for days upon bumpy days, please consider returning for a (probably awkward) formal introduction.

All my love,
PKSB

09/25/2025

Dear Diary,

What a day! I’m so glad people are less angry with me and I still get to do my job. I love people-watching and I especially love when they put their carts away! We all do our part to keep people safe, you know?

Listen to me, taking to you as though you’re a real person, or something. I guess it’s ok if you aren’t - I can still pretend. As long as you don’t start talking back, am I right?

Sigh.

Well, I hope you had a good day, too.

Until next time,
PKSB