06/15/2026
It's been a heavy year. That's probably obvious.
I've avoided looking too closely at the entrance to the farm. The sign needs painted. The mulch needs refreshed. Truthfully, every time I looked at it, I hear Babe's voice reminding me it needed done yesterday. He'd tease me mid laugh, like a love language, it never stung it was a fun game!
The last time he was after me about it was around harvest. He'd hurt his arm, called me to wrap it, he was 87 or 89, my memory was also shot by hep c, BUT I'm sure something was broken but he asked me if he went to the doctor could it be healed? I'm honest to a fault I said likely not. So left handed his old butt was pushed back up in to that combine and he finished the days harvest. Next I knew.. he was gone. I wasnt ready.
That old straw bale sitting there came from him. Maybe that's why hay season will always have a special place in my heart. When I say I want to be "square bale season strong," that's what I mean. I helped manage his straw square bales when he was busy with cows.
Earlier this week, while doing my best not to look in that direction, something caught my eye.
A lily.
Those lilies came from the altar at church years ago. They usually bloom in the spring, but after the wild weather, endless rain, and temperature swings this year, I figured they had decided to take the season off. The blooms browned early, and I assumed that was the end of it.
Then there it was.
One bloom.
Right when I needed it.
So alright, old friend—I hear you. I'll paint the damn sign.
And while we're talking, you'd be pretty happy with this growing season. The corn went in late but is running nearly a month ahead and standing strong. Not leggy. Not struggling. Just growing.
I heared one of your old fart cranky friends say "ain't it some s**t he is gone then this" (that's not even a cuss word to a soul that works cows)(reality is corn prices are low and the market will be saturated so while a good season... too good a season drives prices down and farmers don't make money >to my none farm friends 😂) Babe grew corn for his cow/calf opperation , he'd have shook his head at prices.
..but I'd like to think maybe the farmer in Heaven had something to do with this.
Miss you, Babe. 🤍 messaged recieved. I will paint the darn sign. I'm gonna do it with tears escaping my eyes.. but I'm going to do it.
**and don't even get me started on how I wake up hearing Astro singing and go to get him and he isn’t there... it not enough to have the medical emergencies and traumas play out in my mind. Wooooweee it's been a Spring for the books but now it is time to move to Summer processing grief the best we can!**
