Bates Family Foods, LLC/Rainy Glen Farm

06/05/2026

-Let’s get Thinned Together (the skinny on using otherwise throwaways...)
If you happen to have a 60 foot row of beet and or carrot greens in the garden. It’s time to get thinning! Break out those tweezers and those extra strong magnifying glasses like us professionals do. The last several years our beet and carrots haven’t been thinned…ouch.
The plants have been less than way back in 2022 when we had time to do such superfluous inconsequential things. Our beets doubled, then tripled in size in one week’s time, whereas last year they stalled out until mid-July in the growth department. I just got to thinning the carrots and expect the same results. Handfuls of free nutrition go to waste, hell no.
Now I’m not one to brag, h-h-h-h-m, phlegm in the throat that’s all, I swear. My wife, the personal chef, takes these thinnings, and whips them into salad and veggie side dishes. Two nights back she made baby beet greens sauté, with pesto and feta cheese. Every morsel was devoured! Carrot babies got rolled into a veg night stir fry with chopsticks. Losing weight never tasted so good.
My hairline has thinned a lot so I’m and expert now!
Titanium Farmer and Titanium Wife
PS, don't tell Titanium Farmer, but in honor of National Donut Day, though two days late, Titanium Wife will pick up apple fritters at Happy Donuts tomorrow and bring them home to celebrate on Sunday!

06/02/2026

05/28/2026

I Claw-dias (Mew-cipher and El Diablo)
I am cat. When in home do as cats do! Daytime noise is unwelcome in my house. Woe unto the Republic if my sleep is disturbed. Stink eye is reserved for this trespass…contemptuousness…
I want what I want, when I want it, therefore I am…God! I Created the Universe in my image, a ball of yarn call String Theory. I toy with my legions.
I found this home a cat free wasteland of Cretans without even proper kitten kibble. Unclawed masses strewn hither and yon. Rule is a tiresome affair of the unedu-cat-ed. I meditate 20 hours a day philosophically about the deeper meanings of life with each sit.
Generally Cat Legion-a-round… and successful farm cat ownership
Honu and Kai…

05/26/2026

Food Systems
A couple of years ago, I wrote a blog about vultures - this is just a brief follow-up. An update: the vultures haven’t gotten me yet. Hope you’re pleased with this turn of events. Some days even I am…surprised to be still kicking.
Vultures serve a vital role in nature, and as a naturalist and foody, I am very aware of the circle of life. Friends and family have fallen in this last year, with Memorial Day just behind in the rear view mirror. I’m not on the menu… yet.
Last week, as the vultures’ return to birthing season in the wilds and domestics attest, one vulture in particular seemed to follow me around, then another one roosted next to him or her. They are very hard to tell apart, “Scraps Team Leader to Scraps Slashing Team, he’s in our sights. Tell the rest of the Cadaver Cartel we got a live one, for now”…
I take it personally, when they’re close enough to see the gleam in their eye, well? As a farmer, God I’m putting in a request that I feed the worms and bacteria in the soil. I hope I’ve earned at least that much penitence, right? Right?!?
Titanium Farmer (still here) and Titanium Wife (shield of life and containment force)
In Technicolor-burgundy-plum breathing still…just saying…go away, vultures…no, really!

05/25/2026

Memorial Day
Again let’s all take time today to remember those who we love who have passed away in the line of duty while serving our country; honoring them is a small, yet important thing in remembering where we all came from. Also, thanks for all the responses about the cottonwood post, our small version of viral.
Wow! Jumping catfish on Memorial Day Weekend memories! Thank you to all the folks who came and visited our Rainy Glen Farms and Bates Family Foods farm stands at Puyallup and Longmire Brewing… The blistering pace continues… So many new friends made during our visits with you all. Maybe 100 or 200 new friends! Yesterday, we participated for the first time in the Packwood Flea Market. The entire eastern half of Lewis County actually throws a collective garage sale that spans from Mossyrock forty-miles east to Packwood; upward of 20,000 folks invade the Cowlitz Valley.
Special thanks to Amy Besunder and Peter Charbonnier once again, for allowing Noël and I to set up shop at the “community center”, also known as their brewery. Our host bartenders, Mary and David, were awesome and poured us some fine brews as we charmed throngs of folks. The brewery was packed every table filled, good natured lines for suds, and a whole lot of merry making with games and live band.
On our way home, we stopped by Celtic Spirit and said Hi to our friends, Bret and Mary, the owners. The restaurant and speakeasy are a great place, whether for intimate and cozy or large, cheery gatherings with friends and family and the food is outstanding!
After taking the weekend to be with you folks, must get my old snail shell moving out to those farm fields that still need a lot of planting, w**ding, etc. Being a part of Noël’s and my life means a lot to us. Your story shares are very welcomed.
Titanium Farmer and Titanium Wife
Blur vision and subsidiary of Technicolor Enterprises-In living color, make the sun go down please///

05/22/2026

Cottonwood Squall Line Emergency Bulletin (This year’s New Farmer’s Almanac 2026, Digitally Remastered)
This is an Emergency Bulletin issued by The Rainy Glen Farm Authority. Blowing and drifting cotton will make the air toxic for sensitive groups. In the flurry zone, those with sinus and asthma should stay house bound. Lack of breathing may ensue or less severe gagging, uncontrollable tickly crawly feelings, and or irritated skin are likely for all trekkers.
In the actual squall line, embedded in the flurry line, blowing and drifting cottonwood may accumulate in drifts, along the road. Vehicles may stall without precautions - carry chains. Make sure to carry appropriate emergency supplies when traveling, onboard respirators or N95 masks advised, never leave your car.
Sheltering in place is the best course of action. Check in with neighbors to see if they are responsive. This alert will end when they Rainy Glen Farm Authority has measured safe levels non-toxic to biologic organisms, stay out of the kill zone, Glenoma. Use alternate route, follow all posted hazard signs and detours. Turn around, don’t be a statistic!
God help us all! Signing off…
SIDEBAR: Fernando and Mary-Send MASSY, we’re running low on fuel and food supplies, situation dire!
Coming to you in vivid retro black and white air waves, snow screens on TV’s after 11:00 PM, vintage 1971, in a Technicolor White Out take over…
FINAL SIDEBAR: God willing, and the creek (or drifts of cottonwood) don’t rise, you can find us at the Puyallup Farmers’ Market tomorrow, from 9am – 2pm, and at Longmire Springs in Packwood on Sunday, from 2pm – 7pm, serving up the Bates Family Foods magic sauce, otherwise known as pickles, pesto & jams! Staging our very own Jar-maggedon

05/21/2026

Why Learn Spanish at 63 Years Old
If Noël and I possibly get to live in a Spanish speaking country after retirement, duh, how can I talk to my local farmers about farming without knowing their language? Since childhood, I felt that those coming to America from other countries should learn American English or at least try - I still do. There is nothing wrong with feeling that way, it shows respect and willingness to fit in culturally.
Illiterate in this country or another country is still illiterate (former teacher here). Some Americans abroad expect that privilege should mean they are of higher class, and are exempt from courtesies, like saying good morning in that countries native tongue. Visiting resorts or living in enclaves in foreign countries, without visiting the villages and farming folks, well they’re just visiting or living in Hollywood by my reckoning: scripted, choreographed, and a packaged number.
Those folks in Panama selling their watermelons have a story of how their melons got there, and their story of farming in the book of life. I should like to talk with them in their language as best as I can about such matters.
Reverend Titanium Farmer and Sister Titanium Wife: Speaking from the Territorial Seed Collection Catalog
Technicolor of the day-Watermelon Sugar Alta…Thanks H.S.

05/20/2026

Berry Ferry to Naches/Yakima
Plans are being developed for July and August to shuttle raspberries, Marion berries, and Boysenberries to a fruit stand in Naches. It looks like we’ve partnered with McIlrath Farms produce stand. We had hoped to last year; however when Noël got injured, and the year before we got COVID…well things didn’t happen. The old saying “Third Times the Charm,” comes to mind. Pay no mind to the other saying, “bad luck comes in…” Get that nonsense out of your minds – NOW!
Laura McIlrath has been a solid choice amongst a crowded pack of produce farm stands in the area. We’re hoping to trek the lofty White Pass every two weeks on Saturdays. Since Noël will be at Puyallup, I’ll be driving the ‘05 Corolla with 200+ miles on it. This will be for the 7-8 week berry season, only out deference the car’s age and miles. I look forward to seeing Laura’s smiling face soon.
Mostly we like to use produce from our farm, however Yakima has oft saved our bacon when we needed to get ahold of produce and our farm failed. I’ve kept you guys up on that through the years.
Sorry, this is kind of a nuts and bolts of what it take to be profitable as a farm and canned good producer.
Titanium Farmer and Titanium Wife
Fine purveyors of Technicolor Bright Lights Swiss Chard, since 2020

05/19/2026

My Old Pals: Common Sense and Wisdom
What does common sense mean to you? Where does common sense rank in importance in your day-to- day activities? Many folks feel common sense no longer exists or extinct…With farming you have to check in to the common sense hotel every day, the silent mistress who can keep you up at night. What makes sense has to picked up turned around of and thought of: How do I stay out of trouble here, now and in the future?
For example if you don’t water, w**d, and fertilize your plants, how can they grow? If you don’t pay your bank for your car they’ll get quit terse about it; “adulting” is what Noël and I have called it. Without common sense, things like fallowing your farm field every few years, your table’s vegetables will be kale free shortly…three cheers…just teasing!
For me a working definition of wisdom is knowing how to apply that common sense for when the time is right, in the right situation, and how much without doing too little or too much. Make sense? What does wisdom mean to you? Is an ant crawling along with a bug in its pinchers a wise thing to do or a waste of time to watch? It depends on if you want to learn anything or not, you could just step on it, not caring about a dumb bug or…You could learn about teamwork, family, self-reliance, the economics of putting away for winter, and more without one dollar ever being spent.
SIDEBAR: By the way our Northwest vinegar ants, the ones that live in those high piles of fir needle cities in our forests, are actually farming fungus to eat now and in the winter, and very good at it, using climate control.
Titanium Farmer and Titanium Wife - We believe everyone should use logic and reasoning for looking at the past for helping, while living in the present with an eye toward preparing for the future, using common sense and wisdom.
Technicolor started by looking up at the rainbows and wanting to learn about it… why…

05/18/2026

Adventures in Clarity
Good Morning All! The bees are busily buzzing through the vineyards and orchard here on the farm. That familiar hum of our little friends never fails to inspire. Hard to capture or describe adequately. I’ve written about it for years. Trying to capture these moments, moments that I wish you were here to share with Noël and myself. We are not an algorithm, we are not programed bots, we are the living sharing life with you.
Noël and I were cleaning some jars this morning before starting our farm shift. We were filling up the dish washer, the jars kept falling over, drat. So…we came up with a name for it, Toppleoff McGlasskins! Think hard on it, it gets funnier and funnier as you think about it. Big farm day, lots of equipment and big heavy things, so our time together today is short.
Titanium Farmer and Titanium Wife
Technicolor Transparency… Film at 11:00!