26/09/2026
There’s something Nollywood needs to stop teaching us about family and marriage.
A woman doesn’t approve of the woman her son wants to marry.
So she insults her, humiliates her, calls her names, sets traps for her, publicly disgraces her and sometimes even abuses her.
Then, somewhere towards the end of the movie, something changes.
The mother realises she was wrong.
She apologises.
Everyone cries.
The woman forgives her.
And somehow, we’re expected to believe that everything is now fine and the marriage can go ahead.
But here’s what I keep wondering:
Does forgiveness mean you have to continue the relationship?
I don’t think so.
You can forgive someone and still decide that you no longer want them to have access to you.
You can accept an apology without pretending that what happened never happened.
And there’s a big difference between a parent having genuine concerns about their child’s choice and deliberately humiliating or dehumanising the person because they didn’t get their way.
If your objection was strong enough to justify cruelty when you thought you could get away with it, what exactly changed when circumstances changed?
Sometimes the apology comes because the person now needs your cooperation.
That doesn’t necessarily erase what their behaviour revealed about them.
Maybe we need to teach people something different:
Forgiveness can bring you peace.
Boundaries can protect that peace.
And not every relationship that can be forgiven needs to be restored.
