11/01/2013
Here's the initial invitation to our grilling class we held a month ago. Sorry I didn't post this sooner. Hopefully we'll post an upcoming class for Spring 2014. But for now, at least you can see what you missed:
Howdy, folks!
I remember, several years back, one certain day when one of my college bible study students had us over to her place for a cookout. She and her fiancee, also a bible study student, were soon to be married, and they wanted one last time of fellowship with us before our relationship was to become one hampered by time, distance, and family responsibility. I look back very fondly at every part of that day…
except for the food.
Aye caramba!
We were having the best time talking, laughing, even snorting on occasion (oh my). Then Ric (the fiancee) says to me, "Come on, Paul. Let's put the meat on the grill." Well, you don't have to call me twice. Just then he pulls these giant slabs of meat the size of hubcaps from the refrigerator and I knew immediately how dinner was going to go. This was to be a difficult, challenging exercise, to say the least.
Earlier that day Ric had gotten what he thought was "a deal" at the market. Four enormous brontosaurus steaks; slick, smooth, red meat about 3/4 of an inch thick and pennies on the pound. You probably know them as round steaks. No fat. No marble. No texture.
Just muscle.
Pure, unadulterated bovine muscle, cooked over a high flame on a small, rickety gas grill. Within seconds from the initial sear, the edges curled up like rubber tires. You could have drilled a hole in each side and made rope swings out of them. Or possibly bird baths. Or early 20th-century football helmets.
The finished product emerged from billows of smoke similar to that of a 1950's Pittsburgh skyline, and resembled much of what that skyline represented: a tough, rubbery, leathery utilitarian gasket composite fitted for some sort of industrial internal combustion application.
No lie. Do I look like I'm lying?
With awkward smiles intact amid lengthy moments of dead silence, we ate it. And yet in spite of all that, it was still a day I will cherish forever.
As I'm sure you know, the culinary experience I just mentioned is not uncommon. As a matter of fact, it's downright American! After all, this is the stuff that made A-1 Sauce famous!
Folks, it's time we quit settling for dry, crumbly burgers; undone, bloody chicken; leathery, grey steaks slathered with vinegar sauce; all accompanied by buckets of gloppy macaroni salad, followed by some sort of thawed cornstarch-syrup pie. It's time to say "No more!" to water-infused, blackened wieners in undone buns with Brobdingnagian globules of ketchup and yellow mustard slung on as if prepared by Jackson Pollack. Only not as pretty, and not nearly as valuable.
This is the call. It's time to get your mojo on, cuz it's grillin' time!
Yep.
Been working on this one for a while now. Like, 25 years. Cooking over an open fire is the oldest form of culinary art and we're gonna see just what it's all about in our awesome Grilling Course!
This course (of course) will use traditional methods—no processed mumbo jumbo— to create some of the most fantastic meals you could ever imagine with your wrinkled little jellied cauliflower-like imaginer. In this course we'll deal with several types of meat and the proper preparation of each to achieve the absolute best flavor and texture possible. We'll learn direct and indirect grilling, gas and charcoal grilling, searing and roasting, and tons more!
This course will also dive into the wonderful world of sauces (Mmmm… sauces) and rubs (Mmmm… rubs), roasted vegetables and flame-seared fruits, as well as all the stuff you want around the table: salads, sides and desserts that run the gamut from comfortable and familiar, to exotic and downright scary. (Scary = Awesome!)
This is an eclectic, comprehensive course that will show you the fine techniques necessary to make every barbecue you have the best you've ever had. Yep. It will become your preferred method of cooking. So preferred, you won't want to limit it to summer alone. You're gonna wanna make a little place somewhere out back you can grill year 'round.
This course will be held on four Tuesdays in July: the 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th, starting at 6:00 p.m.
So, with all that said, here's what we have planned:
Session 1 (7/9):
Grilling Basics
Charcoal Grilling
Gas Grilling
Direct Heat Grilling
Indirect Heat Grilling
Perfect Barbecued Chicken
Sweet BBQ Sauce
Grilled German Potato Salad
BBQ Grilled Pineapple
Grilled Pineapple Ginger Salsa
Session 2 (7/16):
Perfect Juicy Hamburgers
Grilled Pizza
Indy Wings
Homemade Italian Dressing
Perfect Grill-Smoked Pork Chops
Apple Chutney
Session 3 (7/23):
Shishkebob
Classic Beef Fajitas
Chunky Guacamole
Fresh Tomato Salsa
Grilled Sea Scallops
Yogurt-Mint Cucumber Salad
Session 4 (7/30):
Steak! The Perfect Ribeye
Three Fabulous Rubs
Pulled Beef Brisket
Creamy Coleslaw
Grilled Asparagus with Grilled Lemon Vinaigrette
Compound Butters
Classic Barbecue Sauce
Mid-South Carolina Mustard Sauce
As you can see, this ain't your grandpappy's barbecue course. This course, as I said, is eclectic and comprehensive, comforting and scary. It is all those things you hope it to be. It is, in a word, amazing. We'll be having the classes outside, so there will be plenty of room for everyone. And, since it's in our front yard, the fellowship and atmosphere will be utterly fantastic. We're gonna party like it's 1999! If it rains, well…
well… it's not going to rain.
This course, while wonderfully traditional, is not completely Weston Price compatible. We will not be making our own bread, and sometimes we may use a little yeast for a rise and a little sugar for brining. However, this is going to be excellent food preparation. No corner-cutting whatsoever.
Now, here is how it all goes down. We're changing it up a bit. First, we're not going to have a final feast for this course; we're going to feast royally each week. Four classes and four feasts. Be sure and bring your appetite! There will be enough food at each class to feed everyone… very well.
Second, we want to invite spouses. Not that they weren't invited before, but we want to offer special pricing so both spouses can attend. Pulling off the kind of meals we're offering is much easier when two people are preparing the food. Because of this, we think it would be good for both you and your spouse to see the hands-on preparation. So, for one to attend, the price for the four classes is $100. If both spouses attend, the price is $130. We are preparing a lot of food each week, and most of it is meat, which gets a little pricey. Hence the fee.
As always, we'll need your fee paid in full before the course begins so we can buy all the necessary supplies. Please send your payment to: Hickory Woods, 6773 Township Road 55, Alger, OH 45812, no later than June 29th.
Thanks!
Paul, Marissa and the chillins
